photos of the last few weeks.

the sunset in Moab while we were driving home from Ogden.

for halloween we dressed up like this... we're good for each other right?


we did a weekend trip to Moab. Alister's first time. Arches was awesome. He is the black dot under delicate.


We went to Utah for an early Thanksgiving! I loved getting to spend time with my favorite little kiddos.
my lil nephew Cody and Neice Charlette. You can see why I love them so much, right?

Astonishing

Just back from an early Thanksgiving trip to Ogden with Alister. I had a blast seeing my family and a lot of my Ogden friends. After our week there I didn’t want to come home! I liked staying with my brothers and sister-in-law Farrah. Farrah is my favorite gym buddy ever. I liked hanging out with my mommy and feeling the always welcoming hugs from my friends in the cycling community there. I feel like I belong there, like I am part of something special. I miss that. Even though the oh so loving arms of Alister are enough for me anywhere... I will be lonely when he is off racing around the world next season. I am so excited for him, but I will miss him. I am hoping I can use that time apart to pursue some of my own dreams and goals. I want to use and consider that time a good thing where I can self improve, become stronger and better for Alister... for me, for us. I’m sure he will do the same.
From past experience I feel like the lonely periods in my life were one of the best ways I really began to learn about myself. When I felt alone I was forced to really look deep into my emotions, my actions, feelings and my beliefs. Working through those things allowed me to come out brighter, happier, better and more aware than before.
Now dont get me wrong here. I am not excited to go through that lonely feeling again. I know how much it can hurt having my reality torn in two and feeling like I have to face the world alone, but I think that just from past experiences I am predicting to much and expecting it to be bad, but who am I to say what the future holds. I dont want to be scared going into these changes. I want to be excited. Not anxious, but just thrilled to have the life I have and positive about my future whatever it may hold. Lonely or not. I want it to be astonishing.

something old.

I'm sitting at a petit table in my favorite cafe, Kafe Mercantile. It’s the cafe just around the corner from where I was raised in Ogden, Utah. It is an early sunny spring morning after a rainy spring day. The sun is more than glorious as it rises over the massive Wasatch mountains and as it shines through the windows of this French-esque coffee shop. I'm staring out of the windows in awe at the new green leaves and grass. The water droplets on them are magnified in the morning light...

Mmmm. And the coffee is so good. My favorite. The best I have ever had from anywhere. Every sip of it is a bit of motivation, and every cup is a cup of encouragement to live a great day... a great life.

I am visiting from Durango, Colorado, the place I call my new home… It’s amazing there and fresh. And here is amazing too, but old to me and has many old memories…

The café window is like a looking glass to memories… As I sit at this petit table and look through the window and out at the scene, I remember many of my memories. I cant help but remember my days in France, my travels to here and there and everywhere. I remember many little memories; my happy ones, some sad ones, and some of love…. And I day dream… of happy things… all my happy things… and how I’m happy…

RatcliffRacing

My boyfriend Alister Ratcliff has started up a website! ratcliffracing.wordpress.com Follow it to see whats happening in his racing career with Chipotle Garmin SugarLabs! He has an exciting racing schedule for next season potentially over the pond. Also his website provides a page with details about the crash he was in this summer resulting in a lot of unpaid hospital and dental bills. There is a a link for donations on the page for his accident. All donations are through PayPal and transferred to a donation only checking account that we set up specifically to keep all donations separate. All the funds donated are used for the hospital and dental bills only. Thanks so much for your support. We are excited for his racing future and appreciate your donations towards helping Alister pay these stressful medical bills. Also don't forget to follow my blog as well! I only post about once a month, but when I do I do and its gooood. ;)

The seasons they're a changin'

Its that time of year again. When it gets cold and I have to fight to keep my thoughts warm. Its that time of life again where I am confused and amazed how I arrived where I am today. Its crazy isn't it? How we all end up in places we never expected or planned. Yet it seems as if the place I am is what I always dreamed and makes more sense than what I thought I wanted... or at least I feel it does. Feel. Sometimes I catch myself not feeling. Sometimes I just go through the motions of being a living organism. No emotions on what I have done in my day. No drive or reason for doing it... just doing it. Thats not who I am or who I want to be. I like feeling. I like looking at the sky and the mountains and having my breath taken away while on a bike ride or a walk... Getting butterflies over small happy memories. My goal this winter is to not let the snow freeze my mind and emotions or dreams, but to be the negative pressure that just fuels the fire to live my dreams and to set goals and reach them. Happy Winter Everyone.

Vadabing baddaboom!!!

Cachow! Just like that summer is already over! I don't think the fact that I just spent three months of summer vacation living with my boyfriends parents has sunk in yet... Especially the fact that mine and Alister's relationship survived through it. I would be a huge liar if I said it were easy. I could name too many reasons or things that Alister's parents do ass backwards that give me great reason to not miss them for a while. However they truly are incredible people to put up with my princeass attitude and forwardness in criticizing all there inefficient lifestyle doings.

I think had we stayed one more week someone would have exploded really causing a problem in the relations.

Yet, here I sit at the end of a summer not just living in a household that felt like it was from the 1940s in the UK, but having met some really sweet people through my job at the cafe down the street. Upon my leaving I come to realize how much of an effect my persona really does have on others and how I should continue to strive to be a positive and honest asset to my community. I am richer of a few more friends and managed to not completely destroy my relationship with Alister's parents.... Lol

This morning I watched the sun rise over Manhattan. Sitting in the airport... Watching all of the people... Although I don't love the east cost like I do the west I still have a new found spot in my heart for New England.

The beaches of California are calling. My brothers Mexican marina wedding will be beautiful and not having to share Alister with his mom will be renewing and give us a good start before we turn to Durango and struggle to our path leading to the next chapter in our lives.... My matra.... Don't stop dreaming... Positive vibes manifest positive things.... Positive vibes manifest positive things....

Pricelss...

So after hacking up some blood, high fevers, and a VERY soar throat. I feel almost 100% today... I really am just sad I spent all my money (plus some) on a doctors visit!!!!! but I already said that... So, now broke Stephanie is going to walk her butt over to get her blood test results, breath in the sweet Durango air, and say "auvoir" to all the things she planned on using that money for on her week long vaca. I will just have to enjoy Cal-i-forn-i-a without spending a damn dime.... Just the way I have for most of my life not having much cash to spare. I have had to be frugal, but one thing being on tight budget has awarded me when I am thoughtful enough to consider it, is sweet memories...



When Alister and I were living out east we were (still are) extremely tight for money, but we still decided to use our last nickles and dimes to take a trip into New York City. It was my first time going into the city. We had a great time just looking around, taking pictures and enjoying each others company and it will always be remembered as one of my favorite weekend vacations. I guess what I am trying to say is that. Yeah, money can be happiness a lot of the time. It sure helps at least. And you always really do need some money, but the best part about living is getting to spend living it, broke or not, with a good friend, an interesting place (most places are interesting if you just keep looking) and a good attitude... you can have the best memories. In fact, this probably isn't everyone, but I think most of my favored memories are when I was hurting for some cha ching.



Having an empty wallet does get old when its all of the time, and I do love to indulge; bikes, some close, getting my hair cut, and eating reallly good food. But the best things in life... well, they really are... Priceless.