I stood in my birthday dress with ribbons in my crimped red hair anxiously staring at my new two-wheeled toy all pretty and pink with sparkling tassel-bar ends. I immediately took it out, too impatient to wait for someone to teach me how it all worked. I vividly remember gaining speed going down a hill and panicking when seeing what seemed to be a 10 foot curb in front of me. I clearly didn’t understand the concept of coaster breaks or turning, and bam! I "end-o'ed" over the curb on my cute new bike and busted up the bones in my chin. That experience put a fear in me, and riding a bike was something I wouldn’t be doing again until my early teens.
At the beginning of my sophomore year in high school I had been training for my first marathon when two of my friends were telling me about how they would be riding bicycles 100 miles with their dads. Always up for a new adventure, I was intrigued and said I would like to give it a try. These guys didn’t seem to have much confidence in my abilities, but I signed up online and borrowed some old steel frame bicycle with mustache handle bars, down tube shifters, and a tattered Brooke’s saddle. I bought myself some “padded butt shorts," got a ride down with the boys and was off on my 100 mile journey. It was hot, it was hard, and it hurt really badly, but I did it. AND I did it faster than the nay-sayers. (Goes to show you don’t tell this red head she can’t do something.) I spent the whole next week at school loving my tan lines and feeling liberated!
My first century made me hopelessly infatuated with the bicycle and had me frequently visiting the cafe of a local bike shop. One day a friend who worked there rolled out a sexy Italian, fully lugged, steel, sea-foam green, Bianchi bicycle, and said, “You’re going to race on this next week at the Ogden cash criterium!” This is how my racing got started. I got dropped, learned a little about pain, did a road race, got dropped, did more local crits, got closer to not getting dropped, and Whoa! I didn’t get dropped! With subsequent time and technical practice, I overcame my irrational fear of curbs. I learned a lot about tactics, was given a Carmichael Training Systems book (The Ultimate Ride), and started on my path of gaining speed and fitness. This was one of the happiest periods of my life.
My high school graduation came and I thought a grand adventure would help me escape certain heartaches and problems, so I moved to France to be a nanny. I was excited to have that adventure. However, I encountered a lot of red tape, dealt with several instances of miscommunication and misunderstandings, and faced some unexpected financial issues. I wasn't at all sorry for having taken that leap, but I was also happy to return to my extremely beautiful home in Ogden, Utah where I could again ride a bike.
Upon my return I was still dealing with circumstances I needed to overcome. I found that commuting and racing CycloCross on my single speed Specialized was what gave me a reason to keep plugging away through the cold Utah winter and through my mist of dense, confusing change. I had a few good friends that frequently reminded me to not take myself so seriously and to look at my situation with some perspective while others were tempting me with temporary fixes. I had a lot to decide about who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.
It was during my first CycloCross state championships that it came time for me to make an important decision. I remember it vividly. I was jockeying for 1st place in the women’s B category. I could practically hear my legs and lungs screaming and see my heart's maxed pulse on the course in front of me. I could feel the energy of onlookers and my competitors hunting me all while my mind was rapidly disputing whether or not I would give into my tremendous physical pain; Was I going to give in to the phobia of a curb, to the heart break of broken relationships, to the hurt of failure, being poor, having a difficult family situation, negativity, pressure? — No way!! I wanted to see my cup as half full, and use my challenges as an opportunity to rise and soar on the wings of my dreams.
I am now more stable in my independence and am both honored and excited to have the opportunity to continue my education and racing at Fort Lewis College. Cycling has become my passion and a way for me to express my deepest joys. I cherish the comfort of its community, and I thrive on the opportunity to improve myself physically, emotionally, and academically. I am choosing to major in sports science and business because one day I would like partake in running a cool bike shop or training system where I can continually give back to cycling what it has given to me on and off the saddle.
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